Newsletter
Forgiveness:
If ye forgive not men their tresspasses
Would you agree with me, that some mountains are harder to climb than others? Some challenges are harder to master than others. Forgiveness can be one such challenge. If we forgive not men their trespasses, what happens to us? “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:15.
I want to refer to the story of a lady who struggled with forgiveness. Silvia told me, “I don't think I could ever forgive my ex-husband.” She had fled out of the state away from him; away from all her family and friends. She had escaped for her life. Her husband had become violent. He was physically abusive and she had to go where nobody knew where she was. She thought back to their courtship. He had been remarkably kind. The courtship had promised great things. Now, with two children, she had been forced to escape for their lives. Here she was, living in another state, fearing for her life. How can you get justice in a situation where somebody has betrayed your faith, or has betrayed your best interest? Do we need justice before we can have closure on forgiveness?
Now let me ask you a question: you're home in bed, it's about midnight and the phone rings. Sometimes when the phone rings you can almost tell something bad is happening. As you reach for the phone, you're a bit shaky; you're thinking, “Oh no!, something terrible has happened”. You listen as the officer on the other end of the line asks, “are you sitting down?” then they proceed to say, “we found the body of your younger son, he's been the victim of a violent crime, and we want you to come down to the police station and identify his body.” You set the phone down stunned. This son has never given you any trouble. He's been a blessing to you. He was the valedictorian of his high school class. He was the promising child. At that point, do you want justice or mercy for the perpetrator?
But as the story unfolds, you find out more and you discover that the killer was his older brother! Now, do you want justice or mercy for the perpetrator? They say blood runs thicker than water. Do you want justice or do you want mercy?
What about another scenario? Your daughter is the apple of your eye. She has never given you a day of grief in your life. She's always been a good child. She's learned to drive recently. She's due to get married to a very promising young man that wants to take her hand and you're supposed to take her to the church and deliver her to the groom this weekend. But, the night before the wedding all the young people get together with her, and though she has never drank (alcohol) in her life, they get her drunk. She gets in her car, she drives down the road the next morning, and runs in to a school bus full of children. The bus turns over and the kids die in an inferno of flames. At that point do the parents of the children want justice or mercy?
And then we discover that we are the murderer of Jesus Christ; does God want justice or mercy? Do we want justice or mercy?
This thing about wanting justice: having to have justice is a big issue. It has been a big issue for a long time. It's been an issue for the universe! It is very interesting to look at the angels and what they went through. They'd had war up in heaven; they knew how to fight; they had won the battle. One third of them got tossed out of heaven, for good reason; they were rebellious; they didn't follow the rules.
“For centuries God looked with patience and forbearance upon the cruel treatment given to his ambassadors, at his holy law prostrate, despised, trampled underfoot. He swept away the inhabitants of the Noachian world with a flood. But when the earth was again peopled, men drew away from God, and renewed their hostility to him, manifesting bold defiance. (RH July 17, 1900).
Apparently, that big flood didn't fix the problem.
“A crisis had arrived in the government of God.” Ibid.
Wait, God's government is perfect! How can it have a crisis? What was the crisis?
“The earth was filled with transgression.” Ibid.
The angels knew how to clear heaven of transgression--kick them out! They probably were quite supportive of the idea of a flood to sweep away dissenters.
“The voices of those who had been sacrificed to human envy and hatred were crying beneath the altar for retribution. All heaven was prepared at the word of God to move to the help of his elect.” Ibid.
The angels are thinking, “Just let us at them, we'll show them who's right--who's boss.”
“One word from him, and the bolts of heaven would have fallen upon the earth, filling it with fire and flame.” Ibid.
A crisis--the angels expected justice!
“God had but to speak, and there would have been thunderings and lightnings and earthquakes and destruction.
“The heavenly intelligences were prepared for a fearful manifestation of Almighty power. Every move was watched with intense anxiety.” Ibid.
What was going to happen next?
“The exercise of justice was expected. The angels looked for God to punish the inhabitants of the earth.” ibid.
Did it happen?
“But ‘God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ ‘I will send my beloved Son,’ he said. ‘It may be they will reverence him.’ Amazing grace! Christ came not to condemn the world, but to save the world. ‘Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.’” Ibid.
And so, God did not take the avenue of “justice”, He took the avenue of “mercy!”
But sometimes we think that they should get what they deserve—retribution. We want repayment.
Here is a very interesting quote from Thoughts From The Mount Of Blessing,
“Far better would it be for us to suffer under false accusation than to inflict upon ourselves the torture of retaliation upon our enemies.” (MB 17).
This is a very interesting sentence, inflicting upon myself the torture of my retaliation against someone else. In other words, if I do something to get retribution, I'm causing my own self pain, sorrow, torture, and/or disability, if you please. So then, it's better just to suffer, than to retaliate.
“The spirit of hatred and revenge originated with Satan, and can bring only evil to him who cherishes it.” Ibid.
It's a matter of pride, “they humbled me; I'd like to humble them back.” Sometimes we would even like to get involved in the torture of those who humbled us. Let’s suppose somebody stole something from you, maybe you do some accounting and you're missing a penny--one cent. Are you going to forgive him or would you take him to the nth degree?
I heard a very interesting story about a missionary over in Africa. A young native climbed up the missionary’s mango tree and stole a mango or two. The missionary decided that that was a very large infraction of the rules, so he took the boy 14 miles in his Jeep to a police station to get him booked. The villagers were incensed. Just a mango? Everybody gets mangoes! So they went to the witch doctor, and the witch doctor cast a spell on the missionary. The missionaries throat started to close off; he got hoarse; he went back the United States; he went to John Hopkins University; they couldn't do anything; he died. How interesting, for a mango or two.
There was a story that came out of Eastern Europe. A thief crawled over a man's fence, went in his house, and stole some things. The owner went out and saw the man in his backyard. But, the thief couldn't jump over the fence. The house owner chased him around the yard and shot him. Would you shoot somebody if they stole your lunch? Would you shoot somebody if they stole everything your house? What about if they killed everybody in your house, and stole everything? You come home, and everyone in your house is dead, including your wife and your children. Would you shoot the perpetrators?
In some countries you get to mete out the punishment for the thief. Let’s say your car gets stolen. Suppose you recover your car. The police call, they have the thief down at the station, it's your job to beat him with a stick. How many times should you beat him with a stick? What if the car came back totally burned up and trashed? Would you beat him more times? How many times would you have to beat him with a stick before he wanted a new heart, a heart like Jesus Christ? How many times would you have to beat him with a stick before he would believed you are a really good Christian, and would want to follow your religion? We're talking noxious stimulus here. How much noxious stimulus does it take to convert the whole world? It doesn't work that way, does it? That's more like the Muslims, you know?, either it's a sword or you become a Muslim! We object to those kinds of conversions. Does retribution bring resolution to the problem? Does it convert the world? Does it help or does it add to the burden of guilt and shame and woe and fear and punishment? It reminds me of a famous poster that gets posted on a boss’s door that says “The beatings will continue till the morale improves.”
Simeon and Levi thought retribution was in order. Diana, their sister, went out to the community; went out to see the daughters of the land, and came back defiled. Simeon and Levi were not happy. Apparently, they hadn't read in the Bible where it says, “an eye for an eye for tooth for tooth,” and they decided to wipe out all the men of that city for this transgression. So, they slew all the males. But did that fix anything? Did that give them a good reputation? Did the Canaanites think, “Oh! we like those guys’ religion, we want to join that church?” We think Jacob’s sons are really admirable, well-behaved gentlemen.”
David struggled with some of these issues. He tells us a bit of his struggle in Psalm 73. He said, “But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” Psalms 73:2-3.
When I was attending Christian medical school, the classmate who was number one in our class was a guy that went to topless bars, and watched all kinds of wild movies, and lived with his girlfriend. And students were compelled to ask, “why is that guy prospering?” Sometimes we see people who prosper, and we wondering, “how can they be prospering?” Sometimes the people we need to forgive seem to be prospering, when maybe we aren’t. And maybe we aren’t prospering because of something they did to us.
What does David say? “When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me; Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.” “Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.” Psalms 73:16-17, 21-22. When we come into God's presence, a lot of this other stuff that we thought was important doesn't really matter anymore. “For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.” Psalms 73:27-28.
You may be thinking, “Yeah but, I want to preserve my rights. Maybe I can get some money out of these thieves at some point.” “further, I want to save the world from them, and from every other carnal minded person for that matter.” If we fill all the jails with all the carnal minded people on earth, can we save the world?
You know, “Jesus did not contend for His rights. Often His work was made unnecessarily severe because He was willing and uncomplaining. Yet He did not fail nor become discouraged. He lived above these difficulties, as if in the light of God's countenance. He did not retaliate when roughly used, but bore insult patiently.” DA 89. He was on a mission, He had a character to develop! He learned by the things He must suffer, Hebrews tells us, and so must we.
There is going to come a time when rights won't make a bit of difference. You can claim all the rights you want, but when the Sunday law comes, “Those who live during the last days of this earth's history will know what it means to be persecuted for the truth's sake. In the courts, injustice (not justice) will prevail. The judges will refuse to listen to the reasons of those who are loyal to the commandments of God, because they know that arguments in favor of the fourth commandment are unanswerable they will say, ‘We have a law, and by our law he ought to die.’ God's law is nothing to them. ‘The laws made by them with them are supreme. Those who respect this human law will be favored, but those who will not bow to the idol sabbath will have no favors shown them.” Mar 195. [My comments are in brackets ()].
We may contend for our rights and we may think, “I have rights; I'm under the Constitution”, or “I'm under the Magna Carta.” But thinking about our rights before the government, or thinking about our rights in regards to injustices we have suffered will not bring peace or resolution.
God has promised He will repay, “Recompense to no man evil for evil.” (that's not our job). “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath:” (don't go into wrath, set it aside). “for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19. “Therefore if thine enemy hunger (take advantage of him? Absolutely not!), feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:20-21. [My comments in brackets ()]. That’s it! “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good!”
There is a famous criminal in the United States who killed the governor of the state of Idaho with a homemade bomb. But the governor's wife was a Seventh-day Adventist. She went to that prison; she visited him; she won him to Christ. He became an Adventist in prison. She gave him Bible studies and he was baptized and became a witness in prison. His name was Harry Orchard. She heaped “coals of fire on his head.”
Will God repay? Well, a lot of it is natural consequences. This is what David was alluding to when he said, I went into the sanctuary and I figured out that their end was not enviable. “God does not stand toward the sinner as an executioner of the sentence against transgression;” (GC 36). He doesn't have to, “He leaves the rejecters of His mercy to themselves, to reap that which they have sown. Every ray of light rejected, every warning despised or unheeded, every passion indulged, every transgression of the law of God, is a seed sown which yields its unfailing harvest.” Ibid. This embraces how we are to deal with our fellow men--they will reap natural consequences, they do not need us to create imposed consequences. Let natural consequences be their punishers.
This includes church trials. “Church trials” has a double meaning, we have trials at church because we don't all get along, but there's also church trials where we have a trial and we take somebody a task--a tribunal. “Matters connected with the church are to be kept within its own borders (not to be taken before unbelievers). If a Christian is abused, he is to take it patiently; if defrauded, he is not to appeal to courts of justice. Rather let him suffer loss and wrong.” {3SM 299.3} [My comments in Brackets ()]. “God will deal with the unworthy church member who defrauds his brother or the cause of God; the Christian need not contend for his rights (just like Jesus didn't contend for His rights.). God will deal with the one who violates these rights. (“Yeah, but God, you're too slow, I want justice now, I want to see this guy's head cut off,” you may feel.) "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord." Romans 12:19. An account is kept of all these matters, and for all the Lord declares that He will avenge. He will bring every work into judgment.” {3SM 300.1}. [My comments in Brackets ()]. And judgment happens in a sanctuary, David talked about what he saw of the wicked in God’s sanctuary and he was humbled. Are we humbled? Enough to forgive?
So how does one deal with the trauma? The trauma is real! There is something to be forgiven. There are emotions to be dealt with. We even know that, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: (You're not alone; you're not the only one; it's common to all mankind.) but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; (Are you sure God? Are you sure you didn't overstep yourself on this one? I'm having trouble with this one…) but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, (you may have to look for it, but it's there.) that ye may be able to bear it. (Bear it then, bear it now, bear it later, bear the emotional aftermath of it.)” 1 Corinthians 10:13. [My comments in brackets ()]. The question is, “did God fail to take care of me? Did God let something happen to me when He wasn't watching? Did it happen, “when the lifeguard wasn't on duty?”
Jesus addresses this and his experience was very interesting, “The Father's presence encircled Christ, and nothing befell Him but that which infinite love permitted for the blessing of the world. (Even when He ended up in Pilot’s court for the second time? Even when they crowned Him with thorns?) Here was His source of comfort, and it is for us. He who is imbued with the Spirit of Christ abides in Christ. The blow that is aimed at him falls upon the Saviour, who surrounds him with His presence. (And if the blow hits Christ first, it has to pass through Christ to hit you.) Whatever comes to him comes from Christ. He has no need to resist evil, for Christ is his defence. (It's already been tested out. It's not going to be too big for you to escape in His power.) Nothing can touch him except by our Lord's permission, (Satan has to come to God and says, as He did in the case of Job, “Can I take away all his toys?” And God says, “So let me think about that…., okay, you can take away his toys, but you can't touch him.” Every temptation has to be tested by God.) and "all things" that are permitted "work together for good to them that love God." Romans 8:28. {MB 71.2} [My comments in brackets ()].
There is a famous story of a pastor in America who was working at the counselling booth at a big camp meeting. A lady came into the counselling booth to say, “I have had it with my husband. He's not an Adventist, and he's very abusive. I'm just so tired of him and I think it's time for me to at least separate from him, if not divorce him.” To which the pastor responded, “Not so quick.” He shared this above statement with her and then applied it to her case. He told her “Now if you take everything that comes from your husband as really coming from God, and praise God for it, praise the Lord and not keep reacting to your husband, as though you're abused, and tortured, and unhappy, maybe the Lord can bless you.” “Well, this is a hard pill to swallow,” she thought, “but I guess I can try it. I guess I'll do it.”
She went home and she quit reacting to all the negative stimuli, the noxious stimuli from her non-Christian husband. In time he observed, “You don't react to me like you used to.” The relationship was getting better. They were getting along so well, they decided to have their next anniversary out on the town. At that time they had a young infant in the crib, so they left the baby at home with Grandma. Grandma sat in the rocking chair beside the crib. The baby was near a windowsill. On the windowsill grandma had set one of her bottles of pills. The baby started reaching for the pills. Grandma was so traumatized and worried and fearful she couldn’t say anything. She just sat there in stunned silence as the baby ate the whole bottle of pills. When mom and dad returned home, the baby was totally obtunded; totally out of it; not responding. They called the ambulance, the baby was taken to the hospital, and the baby died. The mother of the baby was totally distraught. After a couple days she thought, “I need to go back to this idea that everything comes from God. She prayed, “Well, Lord, you must have some good that is going to work out of this,” and so she accepted it. She thanked the Lord. The family of the husband was so impressed with the way she handled it, the whole family wanted to know more about her religion, and several of them came into the church.
Everything that happens to us is for a reason. Maybe it is to keep us from having something bigger happen. “The Lord may permit you to make small mistakes in order to save you from making larger mistakes.” {HP 124.3} So that mistake, that you can't forgive yourself for, that mistake just might have been to teach you something so that you won't make a bigger mistake later on.
God's forgiveness is a model for how we can forgive those who have wronged us. But some people feel that God could never forgive them. “I just don't feel like God could ever forgive me,” one lady said to me, “I don't think He could ever forgive me, I don't think it's possible.” Where do people get the idea that God does not forgive; that God is not forgiving? If God were not forgiving, what would He be--unforgiving? That would be a passive response, similar to just withdrawing. But what about an active opposite response to forgiveness? What would be an active or aggressive opposite of forgiveness? How about condemnation? Would God say, “I'm not going to forgive you, I'm going to condemn you?” Has God ever been condemnation?
When the woman was caught in adultery and dragged before Jesus what was His response? “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” John 8:11. Did she go and sin again? Apparently she must have sinned again because eventually Jesus cast seven demons out of her. The next time He found her, she had a demon and He cast it out. Do you suppose that at that point Jesus said, “You know, last time I forgave you, but this is a bit much, you have got to learn something from your mistakes”? What did He say? “I still don't condemn you, go and sin no more.” This advice about not sinning anymore was really good advice: those demons were really bad! “For your own sake, don't get entangled again”, He might have said.
“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.” John 3:17. That's the whole object, isn't it? We need to save the whole world. Everything that happens, for which we need to offer forgiveness might be a turning point in somebody’s life to learn of salvation. Our forgiveness may be a key to their conversion.
So what's new? Has Christ learned to be forgiving? Is there something I need to do to change His mind so He can be forgiving, otherwise He really wouldn't want to be forgiving? He says, “I change not.” “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever.” Hebrews 13:8. He's always been forgiving. “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.” Luke 19:10. Ever since the pair made their mistake in Eden, His attention has been on recovering what was lost to sin.
Forgiveness is the process (not just a one-time event) by which love and trust are re-established in relationships. Remember the prodigal son? “I want my inheritance now! I'm young, I don't want to wait till I’m old to get your money. I have things to do and people to see. I have purchases to make. I want the money now.” And off he went with the money. It's a story of misunderstanding the father’s love, kindness, and acceptance. The first day after the son left, the father walked out to the front gate and looked down the road to see if he was coming back.
The son finally returns with the plea, “I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.” Luke 15:18,19. When was the prodigal forgiven? He was forgiven before he ever left home. When did he feel forgiven? Not until he finished with his little speech and heard his father’s response saying, “He’s back! Prepare a feast!” Was there ever unforgiveness or condemnation? What is the nature of forgiveness? Can God really say, “you're forgiven,” without you repenting and going through the sanctuary, waiting to the end of the day of atonement? Isaiah 44:22, “I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee.” Wait a minute, He's offering as an inducement, “I am forgiving, come back.” You don't have to wait, forgiveness is freely offered.
What does God say about forgiveness, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34. These soldiers have absolutely no idea of their guilt or of God’s love. You may be thinking, “yeah but, I'd like to have them confess before I forgive them, they’ve got to crawl up my steps, they’ve got to say they're sorry, they’ve got to admit what they did wrong.” “We should not think that unless those who have injured us confess the wrong that we are justified in withholding from them our forgiveness. It is their part, no doubt, to humble their hearts by repentance and confession but; we are to have a spirit of compassion toward those who have trespassed against us, whether or not they confess their faults. However sorely they may have wounded us, we are not to cherish our grievances and sympathize with ourselves over our injuries; but as we hope to be pardoned for our offenses against God we are to pardon all who have done evil to us.” {MB 113.3} Our forgiveness is God's tool for bringing them back. Our forgiveness is the coals of fire to heap on their heads. Otherwise we develop a root of bitterness, right? “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness (bitterness is another word for unforgiveness) springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” Hebrews 12:14-15. [My comments in brackets ()].
This is a big problem. Why do people let themselves go to bitterness? Because, they can't forgive; they can't forget. They can’t forgive their parents, can't forgive their children, can't forgive their sibling(s), can’t forgive their neighbor; can’t forgive their government, can't forgive their church. How big or small a transgression against me is worth a root of bitterness? “They stole money from me, he stole my entire house, I'm bitter!” Is anything worth having a bitter spirit? How much can I pay you to have a bitter spirit? In other words, are you to be bought or sold? “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32.
This concept of, “if you forgive not men their trespasses,” can be thought of as a bridge. We don't want to burn the bridge we need to cross ourselves. Often the way we relate to others is the way we think our God relates to us. If you want to see what people's God is like, see how they relate to you. “After completing the Lord's Prayer, Jesus added: ‘If ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ He who is unforgiving cuts off the very channel through which alone he can receive mercy from God.” {MB 113.3} We relate to others the way we feel God relates to us. If we're unforgiving, we usually see our God as unforgiving. If we can't hand out forgiveness, we can't receive forgiveness, and we end up with no bridge across the gulf that spans between God and humanity. Jesus is the bridge; He's the ladder, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, (unrepentant, in denial, not confessing, hopeless, couldn't repent if we had to) Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8. [My comments in brackets ()].
In the parables, Jesus tells about two debtors. The King starts looking through his accounts, “look we're missing money, who took it?” He finds the guilty servant, who has taken most the resources of the kingdom and has squandered them. The king lets him know he has to pay all or he'll be in bondage until he does. Pay all? There is no hope of him ever paying it back. And after the man asked for pity and mercy, God says, , “Okay you're forgiven.” Did the man believe he was forgiven? He went out and he found a fellow servant who owed him little to nothing and he became a debt collector. “I'm not going to forgive you this little debt.” I think he still felt he had to pay some of that money or something back to the king. He must not have really believed he had been forgiven. He wasn't willing, or able, to extend forgiveness to others for minor infractions. Has anybody done anything as bad to us as we've done to the son of God? We occasioned His death, and that after extreme torture.
How do we recover what is lost? How do we get over the trauma? How do we get through the oppressive emotions? How do we make a difference for the better? How did Jesus make a difference? How do we forgive the unforgivable? One very important clue comes from what Jesus is said to have done on earth in response to men, “The Saviour mingled with men as one who desired their good.” {MH 143.3} So you've grown up in a home where your father abused you over and over again. And then you become an adult, but he is still abusive. You call him on the phone, his whole language is abusive, he tries to control you, and everything about the interaction is abusive. You then become a Christian, and they tell you, “Yes, he abused you, and now you can't trust him, but you’ve got to learn to trust.” Is trust really the answer? Doesn’t trust basically say, “Ok, I am here again to let you decide my worth and value again. I'm going to put in your hands the ability to abuse me again. I'm just going to open myself up to anything you're willing to deal out to me.” Is trust really the opposite of mistrust or unforgiveness? I would submit to you that it is not.
The opposite of mistrust or lack of forgiveness is care. I care about you enough to do that which is in your best interest regardless of how I feel. And, if that means calling in the police; if that means getting you to a counsellor, if that means getting the family together to confront you and your behaviour, I care enough about you to do it. I am going to do that which is in the best interest of you in hopes of redeeming you. Have you heard it said, “the best defence is a good offense?” Jesus walked among men as one who was going to do them good. Oh yeah, He'd been abused! He was despised and rejected. We know from science now that the baby feels rejected in the womb from the 16th week, and this rejection changes the baby’s character and personality. So here is Joseph saying to Mary, “He’s not mine!” “What do you mean you're pregnant?” Christ was rejected and despised from the earliest moments. He grew up in the slums (poorer class area), He could have been a gang member. He should have been a hateful little brat. He should have been in prison by the time he was of age. But He turns out loving and forgiving! How? He walked among men as one who desired their good. He mingled with men as one who desired their good. He actively cared. He opposed abuse with care, and so He overcame the world with love, not with more powerful hate; not with more powerful revenge; not with more powerful vengeance, but with real love and care.
Forgiveness: what is it really all about? “God's forgiveness is not merely a judicial act by which He sets us free from condemnation. (If you thought Christianity was all about just getting your records stamped forgiven, there's more to it; that's not the end of it.) It is not only forgiveness for sin, but reclaiming from sin. (From the damage of sin, from the woe of sin, from the memories of sin.) It is the outflow of redeeming love that transforms the heart.” “God in Christ gave Himself for our sins. He suffered the cruel death of the cross, bore for us the burden of guilt, "the just for the unjust," that He might reveal to us His love and draw us to Himself. (With cords of everlasting love.) And He says, "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32, R.V. {MB 114} [My comments in brackets ()].
He suffered a lot of trauma and probably most of us do not recognize God's trauma. We may look at the cross and say, “Oh look, Christ came down, and for a brief period of time He had it really hard, and then He went back up to Heaven.”
“Few give thought to the suffering that sin has caused our Creator. All heaven suffered in Christ's agony; but that suffering did not begin or end with His manifestation in humanity. The cross is a revelation to our dull senses of the pain that, from its very inception, sin has brought to the heart of God. (That pain shown on the cross started when Satan rebelled in Heaven. That pain continued as Eve plucked from that tree the fruit that would send humanity into its woe.) Every departure from the right, every deed of cruelty, every failure of humanity to reach His ideal, brings grief to Him.” {Ed 263.1} [My comments in brackets ()]. And so, by our insensitive sinning, we crucify Him afresh. Is He forgiving? “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Forgiveness is the key, “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. (in some Bible passages the word love is interchangeable with forgiveness, and because we forgive the brethren, because we love our brothers, we know that we've passed from death into life. How do you know if you've passed from death into life, or know how you're saved? How do you forgive and treat those who have mistreated you?) He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. (According to Hebrews 2:14,15, Satan is the one that is the author of death.) Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. (The goal of forgiveness is eternal life.) Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: (Why? He wants us to do something. As I have done to you, do ye also to others. Extend forgiveness to them.) and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:14-16. [My comments in brackets ()].
You might think to yourself, “Yes but I just don't seem to be able to forget. I just can't forgive”.
“Wrestling with God--how few know what it is! How few have ever had their souls drawn out after God with intensity of desire until every power is on the stretch. When waves of despair which no language can express sweep over the suppliant, how few cling with unyielding faith to the promises of God.” {GC 621.2} “Those who are unwilling to deny self, to agonize before God, to pray long and earnestly for His blessing, will not obtain it.” Ibid. “Jacob prevailed because he was persevering and determined. His victory is an evidence of the power of importunate prayer. All who will lay hold of God's promises, as he did, and be as earnest and persevering as he was, will succeed as he succeeded.” ibid.
Some of these issues don't go out but by prayer and fasting. In my early days, a gentleman took great advantage of me and I left his ministry disgruntled. I was very angry, and very hateful, and very unforgiving of him. I went out and had long prayers at my favourite spot of prayer, sometimes for part of the night. The Lord gave me the blessing of forgiveness, until I could say with confidence in my heart that he was a blessed man and that God would bless him in the way He felt was best. The Lord took away the unforgiveness out of my heart. Sometimes we have to wrestle with God if we can't forgive. It's not like we're going to come up with some psychological magic that will make us do some mental gymnastics and we can just put the resentment aside. Forgiveness comes from God.
“This is my commandment, That ye love (or forgive) one another, as I have loved (or forgiven) you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13. [My comments in brackets ()]. We need to take God's forgiveness into our hearts and make that forgiveness happen toward everybody in our lives--everybody that has wronged us or someone we love--and be a witness to the power of Christianity. It's only those who can do this that will make a difference. It's only those who can say yes, I've been forgiven, and because I know what forgiveness is, I can extend forgiveness. This is a big part of the equation of eternity.
Jesus came to this earth to show us the way to live that is beyond our wildest imagination. As we study His life, we grasp little bits and pieces, and we learn things about Him and about living, and a growing desire to have His peace and character wells up within us. It makes us want to serve Him and others. In forgiving our enemies, we are challenged to follow Him, and we know we can follow Him, because He has promised the power, through the Holy Spirit, that it will take to pull it off (achieve it). By His grace, we aspire to be as loving and forgiving as Jesus showed us.
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32.
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